Break me, Lord.

What am I doing, Lord? I'm just taking up space. Not contributing at all to this world. Living selfishly. Living solely for myself. I feel so far removed from You, Lord. Even though You brought me near with Christ. I feel as though my selfish ways are caressing me- telling me I'm okay. They convince me that living life for myself is fair. That living comfortable is right. I try to shut them off but they become louder than Your commands.

"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations." Matthew 28:19
That's what You say but I say I'm okay right here.

"You will do things even greater than these." John 14:12
That's what You say but I say I'm okay with being mediocre.

"For with God, all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
That's what You say but I say I am limited.

When will I start accepting Your normal?
When will I realize that "whoever finds his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it?" (Matthew 10:39).
When will I let go of myself?
When will I stop feeding myself these lies that living comfortably is what You have called me to do?
When will I realize that Your Holy Spirit in me is unstoppable?
When will I stop talking and start walking? There is work to be done.

"God did not reconcile Himself to us through Christ so that we could sit idly by."

Break me, Lord. Break me so much that I will not know myself. So that I will be a foreigner in my own body depending on You to lead me through this land---this life.

Break me, Lord.