Finished.

"It is finished was his cry,
Now in heaven, exalted high
Hallelujah! What a Savior!"

I've been dwelling on that phrase "It is finished," because it is. It is today, tomorrow, and forever, until we die or he calls us home.
It is finished, so we put down your best efforts and intentions because Jesus did it all. He finished it.
We can rest.

The only work that should be done is that restlessness from the Holy Spirit that we feel, moving us on a path so sweet that only Jesus himself could be the one who paved it. And this onward march down this sweetly paved path is NOT one that is taken to add anything to our salvation. It is NOT one that is taken to keep us in God's family. It is one that is spurred on by the deep understanding that Jesus is enough.

Jesus + NOTHING = everything by Tullian Tchividjian

That is the title of the book I'm currently reading. Let me tell you, God gives us our dose of daily bread but sometimes it tastes so sweet that He has to be feeding us chocolate cake instead. It's those quiet times you have where you read and stop and marvel at our gloriously wonderful God and Savior.

This book is reminding me the character of God and the life and resurrection of Jesus. I feel as if I've put on new eyes.
The book speaks on the fact that we try to put something else behind our Savior to make salvation true: Jesus + our efforts, Jesus + community, Jesus + mission trips, Jesus + "fill in the blank."
We are trying to add something to an already completed Gospel. When the unwavering truth is: Jesus stands alone! And true obedience comes not out of our efforts to give back to God what He has given us, but when we understand that grace is a freely given gift. Our true obedience stems from our deeper understanding that Jesus is enough. He is sufficient. He stands alone. He is the image of God. Through him and by him and for him were ALL things created.
The fullness of God was in Jesus Christ, therefore, he is everything! Nothing can be added to him.
And these "liberating truths of the gospel are meant to lead us to a liberated life of action, of stepping forth in faith and doing the good works he directs and enables us to do" (pg 152).
Not in order to find favor in God. Not in order to walk to Jesus and receive salvation, but because Jesus walked to us and now we "walk IN him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving." Colossians 2:6-7

Therefore, "the gospel frees us to work and live from the secure basis of faith, not fear. We obey from the secure basis of grace, not guilt." (pg 141)
He has brought us out of death into life. We are alive in him. We are free in him. And
"because Jesus was strong for me, I was free to be weak;
because Jesus won for me, I was free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I was free to be no one;
because Jesus was extraordinary, I was free to be ordinary;
because Jesus succeeded for me, I was free to fail." (pg 24)

I feel today. And I am finally able to complete that statement.

I feel free.

Feel

Is it okay to say I just feel?

Does that sentence need to be completed? Is there an unknown life hanging from the edge that will die if I don't share exactly what I'm thinking at that moment?

Because every time I go to open my mouth, that's all I can say.
Incomplete sentences, full of obscurity.
There's where I am right now.

I just simply, but not so simply, feel.

I feel when I wake up, when I make coffee, when I drink that coffee, when I journal and read my Bible, when I get dressed, when I brush my teeth, when I go to class/work, when I talk to people.

It follows me and numbs me and by the end of the day, as if I haven't felt enough, I feel some more when I go to sleep.
I don't know what it is but I'm fighting it. I'm trying to grab on to it so that one day soon, I'm able to complete the sentence and then maybe, just maybe, find relief.

Breaking

First day back and feeling ready. Trapped, but ready.

It's hard for me to break out of a schedule once I'm in one, but I am determined, this semester, to find freedom amongst obligations and deadlines.

I haven't had time to brush the dust off my camera so I'm going to share old [unedited] pictures that are making me feel creative and warm this morning before class.

Fresh spring and lazy dogs. 

I really enjoy taking pictures that tell two different stories: the one you see up close and the one  blurred in the background.

Happiest of Mondays. 

2015

Happy New Year!

I feel the fresh start that a new year gives and I'm ready to make some changes.
Worry less. Trust God more. Be creative in different ways.

I want to start a movement in my life. I want to take pictures that show little rays of sunshine- that make me happy and others as well (hopefully).
I don't really know everything I want to do yet, but I know that pictures inspire and encourage people in ways that words cannot. I want to be that positivity in someone's life, to remind them that everything is going to be okay. And I'm going to use photography to do just that.

Photography was a creative outlet in high school but it became less of one once I began college (besides iPhone pictures). So this year, I'm dusting off the ole' camera and putting it to good use.

For now, I want to share more of myself through pictures (and the things that will most likely be seen through my happiness movement).

Loo will be featured a lot because she's the best model and because she's - a constant source of honest happiness. 

My brother (representing my family as a whole)- a constant source of inspiration.  

Spoon- a new addition to the family- and a

constant source of heart attacks and playfulness.  

My dogs, Belle and Loo - a constant source of loyalty. 

<3

Inside

My teacher said it right when she said you can feel it in the air- when you return back to your hometown that holds so many memories with someone you once loved. It feels....
Comfortable.
Easy.
Don't roll the window down because then your other senses will join.
You don't merely feel it anymore.
You taste it.
You hear it.
You smell it.
And then, the memories appear so fiercely until they are all you can think about.
You are suddenly on your couch with him, watching his favorite movie.
You are sitting across from him at a restaurant. Silence consumes the table because you are his best friend and he is yours and there is no need for words.
You are at his house, watching his little brother, sister, cousin playing in the yard.
And then it's too much.
It becomes all you can see through the tears that fall on to the leather seats of the car that used to carry a passenger.
All you can hear through the broken memories of the sweet words he used to say to you.
All you can feel through your broken hands as they grip the steering wheel tight.
So please, don't roll the window down. It's easier this way.
Easier to forget.
Easier to be numb.
Keep the window up, my dear.

Being a broke college student teaches you:

As I was getting ready for the day, digging through my dirty clothes for something semi-clean to wear, I began to think about the important things I have learned about being, not just a college student, but a college student with no money (is there any other kind really?). As mundane and awful as that sounds, it really teaches you some important things that I will take with me for the rest of my life. Now I feel the need to share these things that I have learned with those who might be facing the same reality soon.

So, here are 7 important virtues I have learned whilst being in this broken, but educated, state:

1. Strength
Because you’d be surprised at the arm muscle it takes to squeeze out the last of the toothpaste.

2. Boldness
Because when your bank account doesn't agree with the amount of food in your pantry, it takes courage to venture into your roommate's pile of gold.

3. Generosity
Because you realize you’re the one buying the toilet paper now....and the dish washing liquid and detergent and gas and everything else that keeps your life in motion.

4. Hospitality
Because your apartment = free entertainment.

5. Warmth
Because running the AC means spending more of that money you don’t have.

6. Power
Because you realize the light given off from your computer is enough to sustain the darkness of your apartment, so no need to pay that extra money.

 7. Truth
Because nearly every situation in life reminds you that you are the most free to do whatever you want yet have absolutely no money to do so.

Early Morning Resting

Sometimes I find myself resting in the arms of God, then I quickly snap to.

What am I doing?! I shouldn't be here with You caressing me. I should be up doing- working for You! What have I done to deserve this rest? Look what You have done for me! Why am I here just soaking in the comfort that Your arms bring?

But, Lord, You bring me to those moments. I cannot be so quick to say that my own heart led me to You. I'm realizing that I have to trust even more deeply in that. Maybe You have me in Your arms in order to strengthen my faith. Maybe it's to learn more about Your character because what better way to learn about someone than in their arms?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
So, Lord, I will remain. I must knock off this lie that I must work and do because what I feel is being accomplished through action, You are accomplishing in me being still.